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Parents with Neurodevelopmental Conditions including Autism Spectrum Disorders

Amendment

This chapter was added to the manual in April 2026.

April 22, 2026

Neurodevelopmental or neurodiverse conditions affect how the brain functions. They can range from minor difficulties to people who need lifelong support. It can be a genetic condition or a condition that has occurred in the womb.

The most common forms of neurodevelopmental disorders are Autism Spectrum Disorders, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders and Foetal Alcohol Syndrome. There is considerable diversity of needs and abilities in this group of parents.

For further information about definitions and presentations, please refer to the College of Policing Neuro Diversity Glossary of Terms.

Parents who have neurodevelopmental disorders may be able to successfully support their children without any support or intervention from services but some may need additional support to do so.

Parents may experience professional bias and is important that trust and understanding is built up between the parent/s and practitioner so the best outcome is achieved for the child/ren.

These parents may not have a diagnosis. For example, research has shown that women are less likely to be diagnosed with autism as their presentation can differ from the traditional signs of autism. There is a growing trend of parents who are now being diagnosed after their children’s diagnosis.

As with any assessment in Children’s Social Care, it should look at identifying the parents strengths and weaknesses in terms of parenting as well as identifying and involving both formal and informal support networks. This should also include any diagnosis or presentation previously and currently experienced. Every parent has unique and differing needs so the assessment should focus on the strengths and challenges of that particular family.

The risks to the adult from abuse or neglect as a result of their neurodiversity should also be considered in such an assessment and whether they may have care and support needs which can be established by an assessment from adult social care.

Some parents may not meet the eligibility criteria for support from adult social care, however the Care Act places a duty that parents who need assistance with caring responsibilities for their child/ren are eligible if they are unable to fulfil these responsibilities without assistance. 

A multi-agency approach is therefore essential when supporting parents who have neurodevelopmental needs to make sure cognitive needs are identified and addressed. This could include: assessments by psychology, speech and language assessments and occupational therapy to assess what additional support they may need.

Parents with developmental needs may need support to develop the understanding, resources, skills and experience to meet the needs of their children. This will be particularly necessary if they are experiencing additional difficulties such as domestic violence and abuse, poor physical or mental health, living with a disabled child (although they may have more understanding and empathy), substance misuse, social isolation/discrimination, poor housing or poverty.

Neglect through acts of omission is a frequently stated concern. Ultimately it is the quality of care experienced by the child which determines whether the parenting capacity can be regarded as good enough and whether or not a referral should be made for an assessment by Children's Social Care.

Similarly, people with developmental needs may be considered Adults at Risk and targets for those who wish to gain access to children for the purpose of sexually abusing them.

Children may end up taking increasing responsibility for caring for themselves and, at times, for their siblings, parents and other family members. A referral to the local Young Carers Support Group may be appropriate.

Neurodevelopmental issues are lifelong, and parents may need long-term ongoing support, which may need to change to meet the developmental needs of a child as they grow. Assessments must therefore consider the implications for the child as they develop throughout childhood and services will need to re-evaluate the child's circumstances and clear plans should be in place on how this will be achieved.

  • Does the child take on roles and responsibilities within the home that are inappropriate for the child’s age?
  • Does the parent/carer neglect their own and their child's physical and emotional needs, for example, due to anxiety, never finishing anything, obsessions, collecting items, inflexible rules where things are kept?
  • Are good routines in place within the house such as mealtimes, bedtimes etc?
  • Are there any issues with food which need to be addressed, for example, does the parent have any sensory issues around food which are impacting on the child’s diet such as Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). Is this being transferred to the child. For further information, please see What is Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder?
  • Are there any issues around play and imagination that need to be addressed, for example, limitation of toys due to sensory/noise issues, obsessive with tidiness so the child has little to entertain themselves;
  • How is safety managed for the child? Is the parent’s hypervigilant and risk-averse behaviour impacting on the child? Or does the parent seem unaware of safety risks?
  • Does the parent/carer have any other issues which need to be addressed, such as mental health issues, hoarding behaviours, substance misuse, difficult childhood experiences etc?
  • Does the parent/carer's neurodevelopmental condition have any implications for the child with schooling, attending health appointments etc. such as avoiding appointments?
  • Does the parent seem hyper-focused around issues such as the child’s health, (sometimes fabricated illness can be a worry as the parent’s anxiety/obsessiveness can be misdiagnosed);
  • Does the parent/carer's neurodevelopment result in them rejecting or being emotionally unavailable/distant to the child?
  • Does the wider family understand and accept the neurodevelopmental diagnosis/issues of the parent/carer, and the impact of this on the parent/carer's ability to meet the child's needs?
  • Is the wider family/friendship group able and willing to support the parent/carer so that the child's needs are met?
  • Does culture, ethnicity, religion or any other factor relating to the family have implications on their understanding of the neurodevelopmental condition and the potential impact on the child?
  • How the family functions, including conflict, potential family break up, parental meltdowns or burn outs, domestic abuse issues etc.
  • Is the parent/carer at risk of being exploited by other people e.g. financially, providing accommodation?
  • Does the parent/carer have difficulty developing and sustaining relationships or have relationships that may present a risk to the child?
  • Does the parent have a limited understanding of the child's needs and development including in terms of pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for an infant?

Where a parent appears not to be able to meet the needs of their child a referral should be made to Children's Social Care in line with the Safeguarding Referrals Procedure.

Children's Social Care will undertake a multi-disciplinary assessment using the Assessment Framework triangle, and include input from Adult Services and other relevant agencies in a timely way.

Specialist assessments are essential as a means to determine whether or not the parent/s requires additional support to enable them to care for the child or whether the parent/s’ condition will, or is likely to, impair the health or development of the child.

Where a parent does have care and support needs and is experiencing or at risk of abuse or neglect; and as a result of those needs cannot protect themselves from the abuse or neglect, an adult safeguarding concern should be submitted.

All agencies must recognise that their primary concern is to ensure the promotion of the child's welfare, including their protection.

It is important that services understand who is to take the lead on assessments:

  • Where there are no welfare concerns but adults need assistance with routine tasks of looking after children, Adult Social Care should take the lead on assessment and care planning;
  • Where parents need support in the medium to long term Adult Social Care and Children's Social Care will jointly co-ordinate assessment and care planning;
  • Where intervention is required to prevent children suffering impairment to their health or development or significant harm, Children's Social Care will lead the assessment and planning with specialised input from Adult Social Care/Health Services.

It is important for support needs to be recognised at the earliest opportunity. If possible, identification of needs should start when a pregnancy is confirmed.

It is particularly important to avoid the situation where poor standards of parental care, which do not, however, meet the threshold of significant harm to a child, subsequently deteriorate because of a lack of support provided to the parent. It is vital to recognise low levels of need, which, if unaddressed, are likely to lead to difficulties for parents and undermine children's welfare.

Where Section 47 enquiries conclude that there is no actual or likely significant harm it will be important that action is taken to prevent future problems arising.

There is very little research in this area of practice and many parents/carers will be able to function successfully without any support. These parents may understand their children with extra needs more successfully because they understand the pressures/issues that their child may experience. For example, they may be happy for their child to play alone, do not put pressure on their child to socialise, understand when they need space, cope with hyperactivity. Shared hobbies can also be a great source of connection between the parent and child.

However, when all the family have needs, it can be challenging navigating everyone’s complex, often opposed, needs. The children’s views and needs will need to be forefront.

The following areas may need to be addressed in any assessment:

  • Diagnosis;
  • Social networks;
  • Social and communication challenges;
  • Sensory overload;
  • Routine.

Diagnosis can help the parent and the practitioner understand behaviours and offer insight. If parents are given the tools to understand themselves, it can help with their self-esteem and mean your support can be tailored correctly to the family.

It is also important that partners and children (if age appropriate) understand their partner’s/parent’s diagnosis and issues. This can help support the parent when things get difficult, they know when to step in and it may give a more harmonious household. It can promote acceptance and tolerance.

Couple counselling and family therapy may help gain a wider understanding of how to support the family to work in a more productive, positive way.

If the parent does not have a diagnosis but has identified a need:

  1. Acknowledge and Respect Self-Identification
    • Treat the parent’s belief about their neurodiversity with respect and openness. Many individuals face barriers to diagnosis, including stigma, cost, or lack of access to services;
    • Use inclusive language and avoid dismissing their self-identification. For example, saying “Thank you for sharing that with me” can validate their experience.
  2. Focus on Needs, Not Labels
    • Shift the conversation from diagnosis to understanding the parent’s specific needs, strengths, and challenges;
    • Ask open-ended questions like: “Are there particular situations that feel overwhelming or difficult for you?” or “What helps you feel more comfortable when communicating?”
  3. Adapt Communication and Engagement
    • Be flexible in how you communicate. This might include:
      • Offering written summaries of meetings;
      • Allowing extra time for processing information;
      • Minimising sensory distractions during interactions;
      • Check in regularly to ensure the parent feels understood and supported. 
  4. Be Trauma-Informed and Non-Judgmental
    • Recognize that undiagnosed neurodiversity can be linked to past trauma, misunderstanding, or exclusion;
    • Approach conversations with empathy, curiosity, and a non-judgmental stance.
  5. Collaborate and Empower
    • Involve the parent in decision-making and planning. Empower them by acknowledging their expertise in their own life and their child’s needs;
    • Offer choices and explain safeguarding processes clearly to reduce anxiety and build trust.
  6. Signpost Support and Resources
    • Provide information about local neurodiversity support groups, advocacy services, or pathways to assessment if the parent expresses interest;
    • Be mindful not to pressure them into seeking a diagnosis—support should be available regardless.
  7. Reflect and Learn
    • Consider seeking training or resources on neurodiversity to enhance your practice;
    • Reflect on any unconscious biases that may affect how you engage with neurodiverse individuals.

In terms of social networks, the following could be considered:

  • Does the family have a social network, if not how can this be developed?
  • Can the support network help, would a family group conference help?
  • Would additional support help keep the family together?
  • Would a support group help for the parents;
  • Would advocacy be beneficial;
  • Would specific training programs help the parents such as social and communication skills, role play, support around reducing behaviours that interfere with daily functioning and independence skills.

Situations can be misconstrued due to the parent’s communication and social issues. As a practitioner do your responses escalate the parent’s behaviour?

It is important that as a practitioner you understand how the parent communicates and what strategies you as a practitioner use to support your assessment and intervention. Speech and Language Therapists, Occupational Therapists and Psychology support can also provide valuable assessments to inform a parenting plan.

For example, does the parent talk constantly and never seem to focus, walk out of meetings a lot when stressed as a way of avoiding confrontations or is the communication blunt and literal? Do they seem to say inappropriate things and eye contact is poor?

Focus sessions

As a practitioner these are some of the things that could be considered:

  • Delivering information in a direct straightforward way;
  • Information could be written down or via text so the parent knows what has been agreed;
  • Accept the parent’s diagnosis and work with it not against it;
  • Plan visits so avoiding the element of surprise;
  • Visit more frequently but for less time if at all possible to support concentration and make sure visits are at less stressful times in the day such as not at dinner time and in appropriate environments;
  • Reassure and understand the parent’s behaviours and know how to support them when they get anxious/stressed and know when to end visits to avoid an escalation of the situation for the parent and/or child/ren?
  • Agree on a plan of how the meeting/visit will take place? For example, if we discuss what I am worried about first and then we can discuss your issues;
  • Help the parent open up, be aware when the parent is masking and always saying things are ok?

Raising children involves interacting and forming relationships with a lot of other people and is constantly changing. This can be challenging so it is important the network who are working with the family understand the parent’s diagnosis. It helps with tolerance and acceptance.

The parent may have issues with sight, sound, smells, taste, touch, balance and movement. The parent can experience both hypersensitivity (over-responsiveness) and hyposensitivity (under-responsiveness) to a wide range of these sensory issues. Most people have a combination of both. 

Sleep issues – sometimes parents/carers struggle with sleep deprivation due to overload and because they struggle to switch off so can support be added at certain times to help the family?

Fatigue and burn out – some parents/carers may feel overwhelmed by lots of information and may seem to focus in areas that you as a practitioner feel are inappropriate. This can lead to parents not functioning and the feelings of intense mental, physical, or emotional exhaustion. This can be seen as lack of motivation.

Make sure parents and carers take breaks or visits are arranged which work for the parents and children such as a room with low lights on, limit the number of professionals in a meeting etc.

Reactions – the parent/scan overreact or underreact which can have implications for the child.

Sensory issues – How does the parent cope in environments/situations which are over stimulating such as school, play centre, meal times, dealing with personal care issues, noisy toys.

Sensory seeking/increased movement – does the parent use repetitive movement, fidgeting to stay calm as a coping mechanism.

Other issues that co-exist such as depression/anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. Could medication help with specific symptoms such as irritability, hyperactivity, anxiety and depression. What do the health professionals think will help?

Routine

Routine, structure and predictability can be beneficial to both children and parents. For some parents it is how change is dealt with and what mechanisms need to be in place to support with day-to-day issues. For example, the parent may need support to structure their day with their children.

Planning and Processing

The parents may also have executive functioning/processing issues which cause difficulties with planning, organising, setting goals and managing time. This can also affect how the parent shifts and focuses attention. They may need more time to process information, having information written down may help, support with time management, prompts to remember meetings etc.

Timetables, visual cues and timers may help keep the parent on track in terms of parenting.

Last Updated: April 22, 2026

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